A Different Kind of Heartbreak Hill

Sports psychologists and physiologists have long known about and published papers on the positive impact of regular physical exercise on self-esteem, stress and anxiety levels and quality of life. As Dr Tim Noakes explains in Lore of Running,  "The relative sanity of runners as a group is shown by the finding that runners exhibit increased emotional stability and score low on neuroticism (people close to me might debate I'm the exception to this) and anxiety." [p 553]

We all have our ups and downs, but as a whole, the runners I know are some of the most positive and physically & mentally healthy people in my life. We run to feel alive, get in touch with our inner spirit and physical bodies and  free our minds of daily stressors, be it a quick 20-minute jog to pick up some milk at the local convenience store or your last LSD before trying to BQ at your next marathon.

Late last week, someone very close to me endured an unexpected tragic loss. And when someone close to you is hurting, it's only natural to share in their grief. I powered through conducting a Magic Mile clinic for our Galloway group members on Saturday. I had planned on running around the track a few times that morning, but with the mindset I was in and the fact that I seemed to be more effective from the sidelines, I did not run on Saturday for the first time this year. Stranger still - I didn't care that I hadn't run. My job that day was to help others. Shifting my focus to other people was a good escape from my personal issues, even if it was only for a couple of hours.

I spent a good part of Saturday in a daze. I want to be with my loved one but they do not live near me so the best I can do is send positive energy and loving thoughts. I had a 29-mile run planned for Sunday that I needed to focus on. No matter what, I was not going to let anything interfere with this last big LSD before the taper began. I had an out-and-back route at the beach mapped out. I knew how much fluid and fuel I was going to carry with me.  The whole plan....laid out...ready to go. We get hit with stressful news about another personal situation Saturday late afternoon and then again in the evening. I hear a voice yelling "Twenty nine miles VERA" in my head but it's like a number I can't even comprehend anymore. Things will be better in the morning, I tell myself. Just get some sleep, get out on the road and your troubles will melt away, even if for "only" 29 miles.

The 4am alarm goes off on Sunday and I've barely slept 4 hours. Worse - I feel like I've had no sleep for days. I'm instantly in my head with thoughts of empathy, grief, loss and anxiety. I can't even envision myself on the road. Swinging my feet off the side of the bed feels like that's about the extent to which I was capable of exerting myself. Was I hit by a freight train yesterday? WT#!! is going on with me?

I start bargaining with myself (at 4am and no coffee):

ME: How about 26 miles? You just did that a few weeks ago with no problem; you can definitely get through that.
BRAIN: Seriously? You can hardly walk to the bathroom without feeling exhausted this morning.
ME: No? How about 20? Do I hear 20?
BRAIN: No freakin' way.
ME: You're not stopping me from running. I'm going to find a way to get this LSD in today if it kills me.

Then I remembered something I recently read in Jeff Galloway's book on mental training for runners. Your brain is constantly monitoring your body. It knows EVERYTHING - including your physical and emotional soft spots. In short, when you are under stress, your reflex brain (subconscious) reduces blood flow to these weak spots. A decrease in blood flow reduces oxygen and nutrient delivery and will increase aches and pains  in your more vulnerable areas. For me, this translates into a risk of developing ITBS - a condition I am prone to, especially in peak training months. It was in this moment I raised the white flag and surrendered to common sense.

My emotional state (and focus) was not centered on running. They weren't even in the same galaxy. Under what I would consider to be normal stressful situations, I run to move through stressors (work, personal, real or imagined!, etc), not to run away from them. Maybe this is something I couldn't (or wasn't ready to) run through yet. I felt emotionally blocked from running. And because of this, I understood the real risk here was causing both physical injury and emotional/mental distress. I knew the amount of energy I needed to deal with my emotional stress/pain was better spent on my addressing my emotions (which far outweighed any amount of mental or physical work required for a 29 mile run). I don't run to torture or injure myself despite what I may write in my training log occasionally! And that's exactly what I would have been doing to myself on the road.



Somewhere around 10am, I'm still not feelin' it. Oh look - Guilt has arrived! The perfect storm continues to brew. I'm not waiting to come around on this lack of energy/poor me/I can't run BS anymore. I changed my clothes and my shoes, grabbed some water and fuel for the TM and pressed Start. Four minutes later, I could barely keep up with the belt speed set at 6.1mph. My legs felt like 75-lb packs of potatoes. I might as well have been trying to run up a 20% grade into 80 mph headwinds. That probably would have felt easier. My Emotional Heartbreak Hill was smacking me in the face - right in my own living room! I swallowed my pride, tucked my tail between my legs and stepped off the belt. What in the hell am I doing to myself? I started to get down on myself for not at least going a mile before giving up, but quickly realized that not running for a couple of days would not erase 5 1/2 months of hard work.

I am so incredibly fortunate to have a strong support system around me.  I was able to get right back on the horse Monday morning for a great 7-miler and the week has continued to get better and better.

I had room in my schedule to move my final LSD to Monday (Memorial Day here in the U.S.) and still have enough time for a proper taper.  I'm going to keep it down to 26 miles.  Mentally, 26 is do-able. I'm not afraid of that number anymore.  29 is something else - something that will have to wait until I'm feeling strong enough to take it on. I'm seeking quality miles not quantity! Visualizing and practicing success are so key when preparing for a race. I am determined to have a fabulous 2nd "Vera's Mary" on Monday at the beach so I can go into this taper feeling stronger and more confident than ever that I'll be crossing the finish line in 4:30.

Relax, power, glide......

The 2011 Santa Monica Classic 10K

We woke up early Sunday morning to the unexpected sound of a moderate rain fall (for So Cal - which means a minor drizzle to my mid-west and east coast friends). I was a little bummed until I pulled up the 'hour by hour' weather report which showed sunshine and no rain by 7am. Race time was 8am. Come on weather people - please be right, please be right.....

We took our usual route out to the Pacific Coast Highway via Malibu Canyon, driving through the Santa Monica Mountains for about 9 miles. I asked the hubby to take this pic because the clouds with the mountains and fog looked so beautiful.

We decided to park at the Santa Monica Pier and walk 3/4 mile to the start so we would be finishing near the car. We had plans to meet up with some Dailymile runners (one is a member of our Galloway training group) before and after the race.

Walking the path from the pier to the race start. Always pimpin' DM!!

I don't know if anyone but my husband knows this, but I have issues with pinning bibs on my shirt. Anal retentive is more like it. I swear I have more of a mental block with safety pins than with running a marathon. "Honey, is it straight? Well it looks crooked. I don't want to look like I don't know how to pin these on. Damn, now that side is all wrapped around the circle-thingy and I can't pull the bib out. Forget it!"

Then I had to do it all over again (I think this is actually the 3rd or 4th time I've pinned the bib on now) due to the weather change while we were waiting for the 10K start. Oh yeah, the sun is out! The pillowy clouds are floating away. Let's go already so I can stop fussing with this stupid bib!

I had not raced for a 10K PR for over a year and half - and it was on this same course. That year, I ran the course under the Santa Monica/Lexus 5000 sponsorship which is later in the Fall season. I didn't really put it together that this SM Classic course was the same one I ran before until we were actually out on the course.

Basking in the sun, waiting for the gun!

I was nervous and excited. I wrote my pacing strategy up on the Motivation Board in front of our treadmill and stared at it for 3 days.  I train during the week using Galloway 4:30 run/ 0:30 sec walk intervals but since I was racing and wanted to average an 8:15 min/mile (reserving some energy for a little kick at the end), I used his recommended 4:00 run/0:30 sec strategy. Fifty one minutes. I can do it!!!

The course really is beautiful. We ran through the streets of Santa Monica:

Headed back towards the SM Pier (that's the archway in the background). We made a right onto Ocean Ave from here.

As soon as you turn onto Ocean Ave heading North (just before mile 2), you're on a slow progressive hill that I didn't really feel until about mile 3. I always use a minimum of a 1% grade on the treadmill but that is to simulate road resistance primarily. I saw my pace dipping slightly towards 8:20, then 8:30, and I'm wondering if I'm pushing too hard. No Vera, you can do this. Push, push, push.

Just before mile 3, I am starting to feel the hill, my heart rate has increased slightly and I knew the San Vicente hill was coming just after mile 3. I decided to give myself a short break and backed off a little on my pace. We'd be turning around soon and I wanted to save whatever I had left for the last downhill miles of the race! We made the turnaround and I let loose. I ran the fastest mile I have ever knowingly run in my life between mile 5 and mile 6, clocking a 7:07 pace! WHAT?!? Thank you walk breaks and a long downhill finish!

Just as we ran up Ocean Ave, we ran back down it to the Finish that was at the Pier. The ocean is to the right. Isn't this a gorgeous ending to a race? Hubby snapped this pic because the speed limit sign was flashing 8 mph as some people were passing.

In the home stretch

And here's the big finish! You can see that big blue banner from about three-quarters of a mile out (I think). I wanted to give it all I had but with Grandma's marathon fast approaching and the fact that I knew I was on track to hit my 51 minute goal, I held back slightly. My right knee was a little wobbly and I was starting to feel a pull in my right calf muscle. "I'll just hold this pace until the last quarter mile and see how I feel". I had already deviated from my original plan to hold the 8:15 min/mile pace until mile 6. I ran mile 5 in 7:49 - this is faster than I had planned on finishing with! In the last quarter mile, I kicked up my pace by about 15 seconds/mile. "Almost there; push push push". I cross the finish line and hit the stop button on my Garmin. It's reading 50:15, but I wasn't exactly sure how far behind the gun I was. I guessed my time would be around 50:07.

The Finishing Chute!

Here are my splits.  My official time was 50:05.  In 2009, my time was 59:42 with a final pace of 9:34 min/mile.  It was fun to look back at my 2009 Garmin data. My overall average pace decreased by 1:32 min/mile but my average and max Heart Rate were almost identical. I love to see the progress!! Link to 2011 SM Classic Garmin data

In hindsight I'm thinking "if you'd just pushed a little harder, you would've broken the 50 minute mark!". Then again, I PR'd by almost 10 minutes without injuring myself, placed 13th in my age/gender group AND I have another milestone goal - break 50 minutes in my next 10K.  Maybe even 48.5 min on a flat course!!

We met up with fellow Dailymilers, including a member of our Galloway group (Wendy, in the center).

Photo op at the top of archway to the Pier.

And of course a spectacular view of the Pacific Ocean, Malibu and the Santa Monica Mountains.

All in all, this race is awesome. It is extremely well organized, easy to find parking and your friends, a great course and a fun post-race expo on the pier.

Happy Racing!!

Toughing it out

I think it's temporary, but I'm having a case of the blah's. Only 5 Saturdays until race day. I have got to keep pushing through what I think might be the beginning of feeling burnt out with this intense training schedule. Intense for me anyway.  With mounting work stress and other non-running related issues happening around me, it's hard not feel wiped out.

Step 1 - Recognize the symptoms.
Step 2 - Actually rest on rest days and slow the heck down a couple of days of week.
Step 3 - Tough it out. You're almost there!

I had a killer set of 12 x1-mile repeats on Sunday at a pace that is only about 24 seconds slower than my half marathon PR pace. That may seem do-able, but after 2 months of 150+ miles and most recently two 45-mile weeks in a row culminating with a marathon-distance LSD, my legs are tired and the not-so-good feeling runs feel worse than "meh". More like a 2 out 5 on the Enjoyment scale. One more very long run on the 22nd and then the taper begins. I'll need an attitude adjustment before that starts or I will drive myself (and the hubby) absolutely crazy. Thank goodness for our Galloway training group members who lift my spirits and inspire me to keep going every week.

And what is up with all this EATING? I know I haven't trained this hard for this long in the past so I am on a learning curve (aren't we all?), but I'm having 3-4 days a week when I just cannot seem to satisfy my hunger! I've gained a few pounds while running more in my life than I ever have. Yeah yeah yeah - I know I'm putting on muscle, storing more glycogen which brings in even more water into my muscles, adding to this self-perceived weight problem of mine. My clothes all the fit the same. It's just that damn scale. I'm in a Recovery week this week which is absolutely perfect timing. No long runs, no speed work, no hills. Just nice and easy all week. Hopefully I'll drop a couple of pounds. Heck, if it was 5, that would be 5 less pounds to have to carry with me for 26.2 miles!!!!

I felt a tiny pop in my right hip walking up the stairs in our house yesterday. Now it's sore and clicking. I ran in the performance shoes I'm testing for my 60 minute run today which probably didn't help much. Maybe I'll stick with the Lunar Glides and the 2160's this week. I'm racing this weekend in the Santa Monica Classic 10K. As long as my hip is feeling better, I really want to try to PR in the test shoes! Most importantly though, I need to keep my eye on the long term goal. PR at Grandma's! Stay healthy so I can enjoy the Nike Women's Marathon!

In really fun news, we have another Galloway group starting up this week. Most of these members will be running in the Disneyland Half Marathon. Our kick off meeting is tomorrow night!

I do see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's a big LED clock with my marathon goal finishing time on it!!! Almost there, almost there.....

April is over already?

I'm a bad blogger! It's been nearly a month since my last post! Fortunately, it is not for lack of subjects that I've gone missing, but rather a whirlwind of a month that has just flown by.

Our next Galloway group, training for America's Finest City Half Marathon officially kicked off last week. We had our first group run last Saturday. Boy was it WINDY!  Nevertheless, everyone made it for our first 3 mile run. The next group coming in will be training for the Disneyland Half Marathon. Both groups will come together within the first couple of weeks. More members, more support, more encouragement and more motivation! 

Since we have two groups running half marathons within 16 days of each other, hubby and I will qualify to be Neptune Half Fanatics after the Disneyland Half! WOO HOO!!!  I'm way more than just "half crazy" but it's going to take a little more work on my part to become a Marathon Maniac.

My personal marathon training program is going extremely well [everyone knock on wood with me please]! I am able to run over 14 miles in the Lunar Glide +2's now so I'd say "transition to minimalist runner step 1 complete"! It's crazy to think I could barely run a few miles in them when I first introduced them into my shoe rotation. I hope to run a race in them soon!  

I ran a total of 157 miles in April, passing 2 more significant milestones (one that extended to include May 1st). While April was not my highest mileage month, I ran more cumulative weekend miles than ever (twice) and had my highest weekly mileage total (which I ran in back-to-back weeks).  

Here's the breakdown:

3/28 - 4/3 = 40 miles

4/4 - 4/10 = 42 miles (back-to-back 13.1 mi and 15 miles on the weekend)

4/11 - 4/17 = 28 miles (recovery week)

4/18 - 4/24 = 45 miles (highest weekly mileage by 3 miles ever and back-to-back 14.5 milers on the weekend)

4/25 - 5/1 = 45 miles (highest cumulative weekend mileage - 3 mi on Sat & 26.2 mi on Sun). 29.2 miles!!

Yes, you read that right - I ran a full marathon as a training run! Maybe even more significant for me is that I was able to run this full marathon distance (a) the day after running 3 miles with our Galloway group; (b) I ran 20 miles during the week leading into the 26.2 mile run; and (c) after running 45 miles the week prior! I realize these are completely personal milestones and I'm likely the only one who is excited, but this is major personal progress! The fact that I was able to comfortably run a hilly 26.2 miles at my most recent marathon PR pace is a great sign I'll be able to reach my somewhat aggressive time goal at Grandma's. I can't wait to run a flat marathon course! My next and last long run will be 29 miles on May 22nd.  It's giving me an itch to look for my first 50K Ultra!

I was given the opportunity to test some new shoes through the Daily Mile team. I've been running in them quite often over the past month. It is a very new brand and type of shoe for me. Let's just say I'm REALLY glad I had already fully transitioned to the flatter Lunar Glide +2's or I wouldn't have been able to be a tester. We can't reveal what the shoes are or what our thoughts are until after we submit our team review to the shoe company. I can't wait to share my full review here! 

In other news, I worked my first race expo!  Hubby and I joined our Galloway group sponsor store, Foot Pursuit, at the Gator Run Health and Fitness Expo. I learned more about how to fit shoes properly with the help of the store manager, Mo. We also talked to many people about our Galloway training programs. It was incredibly hot but fun too. We were thrilled to see so many of our members from our last training group had registered for the race.

Hubby ran the Gator Run 10K that weekend but I had already signed up for the Merrell Down and Dirty Mud Run at Castaic Lake.  That was SUPER FUN!!! I don't have any pics from the race but I do have a pic of my battle wounds from crawling and climbing over walls, hurdles, mud pits, hard dirt, and KILLER trail run that had us running up extremely steep terrain for almost 3 miles in 80 degree weather. I ended up coming in 11th in my age group!  I will definitely be running this again next year. The costumes some people wore were hilarious.

Showering was not fun for a couple of days after these scrapes!

Over Easter weekend, my almost 16-year old nephew flew down from the Bay Area by himself to spend 4 days with Auntie and Uncle John.  We were on a mission to get his ears pierced (as approved by Mom!). Auntie decided it was time for a belly button piercing (for me, not him!). ;-)  We took him down to Venice to The House of Ink on the boardwalk after much research on safe and sanitary piercing places. We both had a great experience! Loved the staff and the cleanliness!!

We also hung out on the Santa Monica pier and ate at Mariasol Cocina Mexicana. YUMMERS!!!

Me and hubs at the S.M. pier

Work has been pretty busy - overwhelmingly so at times recently.  I took at PTO day on Thursday and hubby and I headed down to the beach for a PTO 10K!  We rarely run together so this was a fun treat for us both. The weather couldn't have been more perfect!

Upcoming Personal Races - these are races where I won't be a pace group leader for our Galloway group members.

June 18, 2011

Grandma, you've been on my mind since December and I am working my ass off to PR big-time! Fingers crossed for a great race day! Just 7 Saturdays to go....which means only 3.5 more weeks of training until the taper begins!! I am nervous about this taper since my monthly mileage has increased by more than 60% compared to the miles I put in before my last marathon.

May 15, 2011

Santa Monica Classic 10K

It has been almost 2 years since I actually raced in a 10K for a PR. With a fast-ish paced 7-mile run on my training schedule set for the same day as this race, I couldn't pass it up. I haven't decided if I'll race in the Lunar Glide +2 or the shoes I'm testing yet - but I'm leaning towards the test-shoes!!!

October 16, 2011

I found out last week from the Nike Women's Marathon that I'm IN!!!!  WOO HOO!!!  I know there are so many women who try for years to get in through the lottery. I am not taking this opportunity for granted in any way, shape or form. The hills are gnarly, but I can already taste that Tiffany Finisher's necklace! I'll be joining a water running class after Grandma's marathon is over so I can keep my mileage up and get some good hill work in without injuring myself.  I've never done any water running before and I'm really looking forward to getting started!  Me and 20,000 other women.... I'll be taking my time AND taking lots of pics/videos with the sports cam for this one! No PR pressure - this one is for the fun of it!

I think that about wraps up April! I promise to start to posting more often again. There's so much to look forward to and write about in the future already!!